This time we are going to talk about one of the most important things on the way to the happiness – reconsidering yourself. Who you are? And how do you know that? These are the main questions you need to answer Why? You will understand once you listen to the episode.
- What do we need to ask ourselves? And why do we need that?
- Why people are not ready to change anything.
- My experience of building wrong beliefs about myself.
- How people in your daily life affect on your vision of yourself.
- What personal limits have you brought from your past.
- You are a different person than you think.
Here are groups of our personal features that we could form based on others’ opinions:
- Your appearance and body features. That could be anything – your weight, how does your face look like and so on.
- Your intellectual abilities. This is actually can you handle complicated intellectual tasks.
- Your emotional and behavioral skills. For instance, how easily you communicate with others are you stay calm in tough situations and other similar features.
- Your creativity and fantasy – how easy for you to draw something or to be a musician or any other kind of artist.
- Your motivation. What drives you. For instance, about one person, people or even parents can say ‘you think only about yourself’.
- All the rest of beliefs.
Task for the week
Please, take those six groups of beliefs, and check each of those to recognize your own ones. Write them down on any electronic device or paper. The best way to do this is to start thinking of your past. Start reminding yourself what have you heard from your relatives, your parents, your friends and other people who had an influence on your life.
Please, start this process right after listening to this episode because you need time to recall those moments. And in two or three days you’ll start seeing a more clear picture. Having those memories restored – just write them down. But please, if you feel that it’s not too personal – share it with others.
- ‘Who you are? What kind of personality you are?’. And what is most important – ‘How do you know that? Where do you have that information from?’
- ‘If I change myself, I will stop being myself even if things that I want to change are negative ones’. Don’t you feel that something is wrong in this statement?
- There is the behavior of the huge amount of different people who share the same belief in this answer. “I am who I am and I will be that person till the end of my life”
- “Who you are with those frozen characteristics and how do you know that this is true? If you look back in time on your life you will see that most of those ‘your’ features were told by someone else to you and that relates to most of the spheres in your life.”
- Was I lazy? Now I realize that I was hard working enough not to treat me as if I were lazy. But nobody from teachers told me that, because I didn’t like to do my homework and for them I was lazy
- ‘He’s a smart boy, but very lazy’. Haven’t you heard that about yourself or about one of your friends? They were wrong!!!
- “Words that I heard was similar to that: ‘You would be able to do different things in your life, but none of those will be done ideally’. What motivation do I have without believing in the final result? What should be my profession without believing in results I’m providing?”
- “If you believe in something, you’ll try to find additional pieces of evidence that this is true. Thus once you received feedback from adults, every time faced with the similar situation you saw evidence of their words. That’s how you have most of your beliefs about yourself”
- “If you know the person well and you know that the person is not always right or even not in 70 percents of all the situations. That means that the person was probably wrong when giving feedback to you. And if that person was wrong that means that at least in some situations you didn’t know who you are.”
- Right now you are older, with a new experience, with new obtained or improved skills even without realizing those. And you are a different person than in your childhood. Stop using the same beliefs that you had being a kid or teenager
- Why rethinking who you are right now is so important for you? Because having those beliefs about yourself but not being that person you are limiting yourself mentally