E016. Keep your emotions safe while starting something new - Sensibly Happy Podcast

Are you afraid or excited when you try doing something new? Or both? It is often happen that your initial expectations and estimates are way more different than after starting the process. How to save yourself from negative emotions?
This episode will be extremely useful for you because it will get you prepared for possible struggles will help you to reduce those!

What you’ll discover

  • How to analyze and improve your expectations;
  • How you can change your life easier;
  • How to protect yourself from disappointment;
  • Where to get the information you need;
  • How to estimate time and resources better.

Quotes, keynotes

  • When we start something new, we have some feelings, some expectations about what we would get from it, how long it would take to implement. But it often happens that our initial feelings are way more different from the ones we have after starting something. Initial feelings and expectations can be good, or they can be bad. And that depends on different factors: for example, on type of personality, or current level of self-confidence.
  • What changes, what new something I’m talking about right now? It could be a lot of different aspects of our life. For instance, you’ve decided to change your current profession, or switch to another work direction, or you want to start a new business, or you want to learn something new, like playing music, cooking, or snowboarding. It could be education or participation in some challenges. Doesn’t matter! We often have some expectations at the beginning.
  • Do you have something you’d want to start right now? Do you have some ideas that it would be great to change something, or try something new? What do you want to change in your life? Or have you already started your way there? What are your initial feelings and expectations? Are you excited? Are you scared? Are you full of energy, or full of doubts?
  • There is a common practice when we begin something new, and it goes not as smoothly as expected, instead of going straight to success, it often lets you down. And only after continuing working hard, you can see some positive results.
  • Every time you start something new, you have a big chance to fall down at the beginning, you have a chance to spend most of your resources and still not be close enough to your goal.
  • Why does it happen? Because we don’t estimate all the risks properly, because we don’t have full information about that, or because we don’t want to hear that there are such risks, or we believe that bad things happen to others only.…
  • What can be done to reduce those risks? How can you prevent disappointment? Or the opposite: How can you be not too afraid of starting something new; and after postponing that start for a year or more, realize that this is not as complicated as you expected? The answer is really simple. You should start something new because you like the process and you don’t have any extra expectations about what you will have in the end; or if you want to start something new because of the final goal, you should collect more information in the beginning. And by having that information, you will be able to correct your expectations.
  • Where can you get that information? First of all, you should search for different communities. It could be Facebook communities, different forums, or Reddit groups, where you can find information about different ups and downs, there…
  • If you want to get an insight of an occupation, you can search for experts on different social media platforms. It is so easy right now to find such people for instance, in Instagram, or LinkedIn. And you can speak to them and get some information. If you want to start something important, you can even pay for the information. For instance, you can prepare some plan and then show it for a review.
  • Another great idea is to find places where those experts like spending their time, for instance, some specific bar. If you’ve decided to change your profession, or current job, and you don’t know where to start, or you are too scared that you’re not smart enough to do this, you can also go to that bar to have some drinks and see that people from that sphere or from that company are ordinary people, you can speak to them, you can ask something, and you even can have some insights. And all that information will definitely help you correct your expectations and distribute your resources more properly when starting something.
  • You should know your personality better! And you probably know that you tend to underestimate or overestimate. If you underestimate things, you search for negative cases while collecting information about that new sphere. But if you’re overestimating everything, and are too afraid, you should find cases’ examples that this is not that complicated and a lot of people start this much more easier than you think.
  • One more tip for you: We often underestimate or overestimate time or other resources that are needed to complete something, there’s a very useful technique on how to estimate time more properly. It is called “Three-point estimation”. The idea is really simple. For instance, if you want to estimate the time that you should spend to achieve something, you should find examples of different scenarios. First of all, find a positive scenario, when someone spends less time for something, then the scenario that took too much time, and then more common time that people spend on it. You need to sum up positive-scenario time, negative scenario time and common time multiplied by four, and all that sum you should divide by six, the number you get would be a realistic estimation. And you can use this approach for estimating time, money, number of followers, and so on.

The task for the next week

What do you want to start soon? What do you want to change in your life? And what expectations do have right now?

  • The first step, describe the purpose of starting something new. Do you want to do this for the sake of process itself, or you want to achieve some final goal? If it’s about the process, then enjoy it.
  • Step two, describe your expectations: how much time it would take, what resources it would take and how much of those resources?
  • The third step, recall what sources of information you used to have such expectations? Do you think you’ve done enough research to have expectations properly set? If you feel that there is enough research, then I wish you good luck.
  • Step Four. If you lack some information, then think where you could get more information about the further process? Think about different sources, use your creativity.
  • Step five, start collecting additional information. If you are underestimating things, then search for negative cases. If you are overestimating things, then search for positive cases. Such an approach will help you to balance you up.
  • Step six. Write down those insights, which you get from the additional research.
  • And step seven, analyze whether there are any changes in your expectations.

Those are changes that will help you to be more stable. They will help you not to give up too early and will save you from some of your negative emotions.

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